I opened my eyes after waking up from a pounding in my left ear. Groaning, I saw the black digital numbers blaring on the alarm clock: it was already the dreaded 6:00 A.M. The phone was still ringing, so with a clammy right hand, I picked it up. “Hello,” I cautiously grunted. No one answered. “Hello,” I said a bit louder and forceful, with my voice feverishly trying to find a comfortable tone. “Good morning, this is your wakeup call,” an over eager sound came through the receiver in a manner way too fucking excited for this time of the morning. “Thanks, I am awake now,” I continue to grunt in a manner that resembled some form of the English language. Then I sluggishly placed the receiver of the phone down. I was alone and started to panic before Jackson came out of the bathroom, still shirtless. I stared at the wet droplets that still glistened on the ripple of his muscles defined in the grooves of his smooth abdomen. “Well that’s certainly something nice to wake up to,” he said as he looked at me and my larger-than-life morning hair. “Good morning pumpkin,” I said in my raspy morning voice. As Jackson scrambled around the room, fiddling with his hanging clothes bag and going back and forth into the bathroom, I continued to lie in the bed, thinking about the day to come. The fact that the reunion day was finally here. It was finally time to face the crazy cast members, answer to the audience, and wrap up this season of what has been a tumultuous occasion. The focus then turned to how I would react, and what would I say to Ashley and Ronnie when I saw them. After all, I definitely was not in the wrong. It was Ronnie that decided to slide into my room that night. He knew I was shitfaced when he decided to climb his solid, muscle body on top of me and began to taste my sweetness down below. After being in the house with them for 12 weeks with no touch of a man, feeling his mouth down there was like adding sugar to a bitter cup of tea. I did know that Ashley was really digging him, but hey, he was up for grabs for any of us, we were all single and more than willing. Besides, I was the only girl in the house that packed what I did below, a completely functional candy stick- and they wanted a taste of the honey. In the midst of my mind running everywhere, Jackson screamed from the bathroom, “Come on girl and get up. Time is going by and the car will be downstairs in an hour to pick us up.” I knew he was right, and that hour would go by so fast when trying to decide what exactly to bring to wear. I had to have the perfect dress and still could not decide between the blue Halston or the black Costello gown. Either way I had to be an outright knockout. This was the final call time for this season, and this would be my first time seeing everyone together since we wrapped. I allowed for the morning swelling to go down in my panties, pulled myself up in bed, grabbed my hair and slid it into a tamer ponytail, at the same time making the decision that I would let them do something with this head at the studio. After all, that was their job anyway, and they could probably do a much better job that anything I felt like or could do this morning. As I climbed out of bed, Jackson came into the room, “I’ve already packed your carry-on with your clothes and I threw your jewelry and everything else in the small purple bag.” “Thanks so much Jacks,” I said with both delight and relief. This guy really does know how to take good care of me. Why, once again, must he be gay? The studio was doing our makeup, and I already decided they would do my hair too, so I really wasn’t running that far behind. I decided to maybe check the blogs for any new news, but after remembering the email waiting in my inbox, decided to leave the Internet alone altogether this morning. Besides, the blogs have been adding hot sauce to the fire already and the last thing I needed to do is to log in and see my face plastered on there again with some bullshit story underwritten, and scroll down to read all of the comments from people that really do not know me at all. As I stumbled around the room a bit keeping busy doing nothing at all, Jackson flipped on the Bluetooth dock. This guy’s taste of music for this early in the morning was way too pumped up, I thought to myself. As I finished, my gaze was drawn to the figure in the mirror. I stared at the face of Lovely LeBlanc, a queen amongst peasants, and I will stand big today in my feelings and on my own. I thought to myself, they have a lot of work ahead of them to make me ready for the camera. I will definitely take full advantage of being pampered and prepped by the studio hires for sure. As I continued to stare into the mirror, I thought to myself, well, this is it, time to face things, it’s the dreaded reunion. As I stared, I must have missed the call to the room to let us know the car was here, because Jackson knocked on the bathroom door and commanded, “Let’s go Love, the driver is downstairs.” I took another glance into the mirror, and told myself, “Let’s do this miss thang.” As we got off the elevator in the hotel lobby, I got the pleasure of instantly spotting the show producer, a short middle-aged woman dressed in joggers, and camera crew waiting. They told us that they were going to meet us in the hotel lobby, and I can’t believe I forgot. The producer began to brief me on how today needs to unfold. The cameraman gave me a curious once over and a courteous greeting, all while the sound guy started pinning the mic to me, with little words exchanged besides, “Are you set?”. They were prepping us to film a shot of us walking through the hotel’s lobby. I really didn’t give a damn; I was still half reluctant about the day and other half asleep. And Jackson, for some reason, he seemed to care more than I did because he actually listened to their directions. Biting my lip, I sent the producer a look that questioned what I should expect for the day. To be honest, I had been really numb about the whole experience. But after all, it was my last shot to really show everyone, the cast and the fans of the show- who I was. My cell phone sounded off and I checked the message, it was a text from Kimmie “Good luck girlie!,” Shit, if she only had an idea, the day is already starting off with surprises. If I had known the camera crew would be following us along for the studio arrival, I would definitely had done something with my hair and made a half-ass attempt to cover up these dark circles under my eyes. But it’s not like she would get it, she could run naked through the lobby yelling and still look amazing. A moment later, they loaded our bags and we climbed into the van. Feeling a sudden sense of anxiety, I reluctantly held onto a crew member’s hand as he assisted me with climbing into the black Sprinter that belonged to production. He held my hand just a bit too long, running the top of his finger over mine. Bullshit, which I ignored.
The field producer got in and glanced at me, a slow smile forming on her pale face. The cameraman is the last person to climb inside of the limo. Jackson sat on the opposite side of the car, and I sat next to the camera guy. At this moment, the producer asks me to switch with her, and I know exactly why, so I could be seen. The whole time they question me about my feelings towards seeing the other cast members and what I expected out of the reunion. Everyone in the van was staring at me and not the camera. “I expect it to go really well,” lying to the best of my ability. “Regardless, I am excited to see everyone,” I add, rolling my eyes dramatically for the sake of the camera and to partly humor myself. I look deep in thought, though I am just pretending, I really am still taken aback that we are even going through this. These questions have more than likely have hundreds of better responses than the one I decided to spurt out “To grow up as a Transgender woman on screen. I came into the house as a face known only by my internet past, with not much of who I really am known.” Mariah Carey. I hear playing on the radio and raise my eyebrow at Jackson and he gives me a shrug and a grin. The sweet sound of her voice always puts me at ease, and he knew that. The van slows down to the crawl necessary for residential communities. Kara steps out onto the porch of a brown and white cottage when we pull up to the curb. By the way she hugs the producer, pulling her fiercely in and burying her face into her chest she’s either been prepped by the production team earlier, or is just overly thirsty for some attention. “What’s up Love?!” Kara said, as she took off her beanie and sunglasses and grabbed a seat in the now cramped van. “How you been girl?” “Not too bad,” I replied easily. I winked at her. “Don’t worry, I’m just as excited about all of this as I’m sure you are.” I chewed the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning. Kara was just as full of sweetness and charming as ever, speaking to the camera with a natural ease as she bragged about being back home with her mom and kids. She brought up the still shaky relationship with her kid’s father halfway into the filming. “Ain’t no Tito’s in here, is it?” she teased, and I forced a half-ass grin. Even though the atmosphere on the ride was light-hearted, I actually found myself a bit withdrawn and distracted. I thought of the headlines when the world learned that this beautiful black woman was born a little motherfucking black boy. Kara looked so soft, pretty as if she got the memo I must have missed about us being filmed on the way to the studio. I looked a complete mess. Even though, somehow, I managed to keep the feeling of jealousy at bay. “Oh yeah, ‘fore I forget,” she started. “Ashley asked me what you thought about…” “Oh lord, do I even want to hear this,” I asked in obvious reluctance. Her face is drawn into an unforgiving frown as she said, “You don’t know do you?! Oh girl- Ash and Ron broke up. I mean, Ash don’t have a problem with you.” Whatever Kara is talking about right now, I bet money it will not be as pleasant as it sounds. Kara brought along her friend Sam. Sam is her version of my Jackson, just not as nearly fashionable, muscular, or attractive.

When we arrived at the studio I hopped out quickly, in an almost successful attempt to ditch the camera crew, Jackson and I bolted into the unmarked door. “Lovely?” “Yes, I’m in this bitch and unapologetic”, I chanted, as I turned to see who it was. My personality seemed to turn on inside me, like my person knew it was time to get to it, so it was ready to deliver. As I was speaking, I turned to the right to see who the familiar voice was calling my name. It was my girl Cristy. We intertwined in work and play because she was the cousin to my Trans sister, Lauren. Cristy and I ran to each other and embraced as the rest of the day instantly became less of a mess. Pulling away from her, I shouted, “I can’t believe you are here.” She replied, “I was booked to do the makeup today for the reunion show, and already knew I would see you here!” This was really fabulous. “I didn’t know you were here in New York.” Even though I tried to control it, my excitement about Cristy being there definitely showed. “I’m not,” she replied, “I flew over from LA two days ago just to work today. I’m here to do the show, but Lauren is throwing a party tomorrow.” Lauren was one of the most glamorous people I knew. She wasn’t the first Transgender I met, but she absolutely the first girl that I met most like the girl I wanted to become. She was feminine and shapely, with a beauty that is indescribable. It seemed like that girl had all the glamour in the world, and a life fit for a queen. “Oh, you got to be lying,” I say. “I can’t believe you’re in NY too and Lauren’s having a party?”, I exclaimed as it came across my mind that I could go. “And come on, I mean everybody knows what a Lauren soiree means,” I said in snooty tone. “It means that you definitely have to fill me in on the details later. I am so fucking there!” We continued to hold hands and even spun around so that our backs were to everyone else. I gave her another hug as I was being tugged away by the producer to my dressing room. The producer did not seem to notice how bothered I was about her cutting my conversation short by the time we arrive in the room, or how my hand went slack at her as she guided me and Jackson inside. As we walk down the long, warehouse hallway, I ran into Ashley and she had her somewhat Internet famous friend Stephanie with her. Though I was hoping that Stephanie’s beauty was a product of Photoshop and M.A.C, She was exactly as stunning in person as she appeared in all of the photos and videos I had seen of her. Ashley and I hugged and she introduced me to Stephanie as her weed smoking buddy in the house. “So, Lovely, how’d you get caught up with Ashley?” she asked. I shot back, “Every night Ash and I would sneak out back, over the fence, and hide from the cameras to take a few puffs of a blunt.” “Nice,” Stephanie stated in and almost disinterested tone. Stephanie nodded at me as she offered me an imitation of a smile. She’s the typical girl, the kind that filled the internet- the packaged bitch. On the other hand, Ashley’s the natural beauty. The producer seemed to be losing her patience as she uncomfortably waited for the conversation to drag by. Each second I spent talking to Ashley, the antsier she appeared. Finally, I excused myself. After all, I would see her on set. I’m sure there was more to come. “Whew,” I thought to myself that went better than expected. But where’s Ronnie? Jackson asked if I was okay. “I’m good,” I assured him. The moment we walked through the door of the dressing suite, we both look at each other and let out a sigh of relief. Jackson said, “Really? I mean, doesn’t seem like she’s bothered at all anymore.” I simply replied, “Well remember, the day is very fresh, and the cameras are not rolling right now. It’s not too early for a bitch to get her ass whooped.” I grinned as I walked out onto the stage. The stage was decorated in a deco theme with white everything from furniture to the glassware. As much as I struggled with the idea of coming here again, it was beyond gorgeous, and felt kind of good to be back in this element. Lots of stage hands ran about making sure that everything was perfect. Although being on this show had proved to be both a blessing for the opportunities I have had to bring awareness to the vision of a girl like myself, it has also given the world the chance to develop all kinds of opinions of not only me, but of all Trans girls too. So like every other step in life, I was not only battling the world for myself, I was battling these hoes to represent every ‘Queen’ out there. I gave each of the other girls a hug, before being indicated by the producer to sit down on the left side of the stage. It was good to see most of their faces, as it had been a few months since the show finished taping and we had moved out of the manor. A hair stylist came up from behind and made sure Wendy, the hostess’, blonde hair with natural brown highlights cascaded down her back beautifully. Sitting down into a purple chair, and smoothed down her pink dress, Wendy thanked the girl who scurried off once she was done. “FIVE MINUTES ‘TIL SHOW TIME!,” the producer shouted out to no one in particular. I glanced towards the seats in front of the stage, packed with people settling into their seats. I tried to settle the nerves growing inside of me and told myself that I was going to do just fine. Wendy practiced her pre-show routines of face expressions and looked through her question cards. “WE’RE ON IN 10 SECONDS PEOPLE!” The producer shouts again, instead of being behind a camera, she was yelling her head off and running around the stage. The panic seemed to be getting more frantic as the time was starting to be counted down. Suddenly, the lights went dark and a spotlight was on us. We were placed around the stage. Me, Cartier, and Grit sat on a small, white couch on one side of Wendy’s purple chair, while Ashley, Roland, and Shakira was on the other side on a matching couch. “AND WE’RE ON IN 5, 4, 3, 2…” the producer mouthed the one and pointed towards the camera which indicated it was rolling. Music. Chanting. Show time. Wendy clapped and then gestured for the audience to quiet down, as she sat in the middle in a purple chair, clearly put there just for her. “It is such a huge honor to be here today, hosting the reunion show of this drama filled reality show that we have all grown to love, Ladies and Gentleman, it’s ‘The Fabulous Business’.” Wendy says while we all got comfortable in our seats on the couch and settled down from the excitement. I was wearing a sea foam Valentino cocktail dress that they put me in, with a black blazer, and white booties. I looked good. “Well, it’s great to see you ladies here.” Wendy nodded her head in her over the top, extra fabulous usual manner as she scanned her eyes towards each one of us. Even though she wasn’t super nice, particularly pretty, or anything like that, her talk show had catapulted and had made Wendy a recognizable face. Wendy had a long radio history in New York, which was where the show was filmed. Don’t worry about Wendy. I told myself she’s a drama queen and this is what she lives for. Hell she’s probably a fan of mine. Well, before ‘The Fabulous Business,’ excluding music video work, I’ve never really even been on TV before, expect for that time in 6th grade, but that wasn’t planned really. “It’s great to see you here Lovely,” Wendy said while her eyes sparkled with amusement. Oh shit, of course pick on the doll, she’s started with me first. “I am excited to be here Wendy, great to see you as well” I said, folding my hands in my lap, patiently waiting for the shade. I smiled warmly at her while she picked up her notecards full of the dreaded questions. “As always, you look amazing,” she said with a sense of excitement. “Well Wendy, you know I try to hold it down,” I responded in a manner of confidence that no one new was an act but me. “TooGorgeous4You wants to know, are you and Michael still dating? If so, do you think he is your soul mate,” she asked me. She tapped her chin and looked at the camera. “I am not dating Michael. Under different circumstances, I think that we might have had a chance, but honestly, I don’t think I will ever date Michael again. Our past just has too much bad blood.” “Is it based on any of your behavior on the show,” she interjected. “No, I believe it goes beyond any of that,” I quickly retort, feeling Ashley glaring at me from the other side of the stage. “Did you ever think he was your soul mate?” she questioned me. “Oh, I think that whenever someone thinks they are in love with someone, they tend to do things to get closer to that person and make them think they are perfect, when they actually aren’t. So it was all a bunch of bullshit in the end. I answer in a most truthful fashion. “That is very true,” Wendy responded. BrightLikeADiamond wants to know if the show was worth leaving what you already had going in New Orleans for?”, she asked while behind us on a big screen, a picture of New Orleans’ St. Louis Cathedral, then Bourbon Street appears, along with an old picture of me while working at the Trans strip club in the French Quarters. Looking back at the picture, I smiled and seemed to remember the memories of the Big Easy. “At first, I was ready to become new again, but leaving my career, family, and life behind was scary. I trusted that the show would bring many challenges, but that I would grow to accept new friendships and career opportunities. I knew I was going to be fine all along, and I hoped that the girls were too,” I respond so eloquently, almost sounding rehearsed, all while in my mind saying “your ass better not try me Wendy”. “That was so moving”, Shakira sarcastically interrupted in her heavy Latina accent. The audience gasps, and I notice a group of girls conversing. Glimpsing a golden charm on one of the girl’s tanned arms, who looks Latina, just like Shakira. There are so many rumors I have read about Shakira since the show, that I think everyone knows now. Maybe they were true. Maybe that was her, and I could get her to come in for the next interview after me by bringing that up. I bet the fans would go crazy over a good ole Lovely versus Shakira reunion moment- that’s called good television. “PrincessYoYo662 wants to know if you hooked up with Ronnie and if he was a good lay if you did.” I turned towards the audience and winked. “Ronnie and I never hooked up, but I heard that Ashley and he were broken up, so who knows what will happen while I’m here in the city that never sleeps right,” I questioned as I stared right at Ashley, hoping to get a reaction from the audience. Hell maybe even Ashley too. After all, I needed to remind them, that I own who I am. “You have certainly changed over this past year, tell me, what changed you?,” Wendy asked, leaning in closer. I looked up a bit surprised with my eyebrows lifted. “Well, I guess New York is more different then I thought… and the people here aren’t as nice as what I’m used to down South, except for some,” I answered. Cartier, who’s sitting next to me, shrugged her shoulders and fiddled with her new Tiffany platinum charmbracelet. I could see new charms, and they all seemed to wink at me, reminding me that they belonged to one of the baddest bitches on the show. “I took the show as a chance to Transition- no pun intended- from a girl to a woman.” “Well from what I saw, you were the ruthless one, the one who didn’t take no for an answer and got everything she put her mind to,” Wendy stated. I fixed my eyesight on a picture of me on the screen behind her at our infamous Halloween bash that happened before the big fight between Ashley and I. Everyone on stage was laughing their asses off remembering all of the crazy events that happened on that night. This was a comfort knowing that at least we could all laugh at something together. “Ooh Wendy, I think that the people around me, changed me. Some parts of me want to take charge again and be Number 1, but then I realize that if you and your circle don’t understand each other and aren’t as close as you should be, then it will fall apart at the seams. I’m still the bitch, but I’m just running the world and not just the house.” The audience must have loved that line because I heard loud cheering and even saw some standing and clapping. I took this a chance to stand up and bow, but I ended up just nodding my head like a queen before her subjects. “We’ll be back with more questions for the darlings of ‘The Fabulous Business’, and get a chance to see some never-before-seen footage in just a moment,” Wendy said as she looked into the camera and read the teleprompter notes. As we begin the break, I see Grit, running down off the stage down towards the audience. They go completely wild. I see her high five a couple of the people in the front row and think to myself, the same festive Grit, some things never change. During the break, I didn’t need to move from my seat. Although, I did have to go first, I was satisfied in the fact that I handled myself very well, and it didn’t take much out of me to get through my segment of the show. Anyone that knows the real me, knows that I went into this situation a year ago with a sense of false assertiveness based on the fact that when it comes to these types of living arrangements, the most “bitchiest bitch” in the house, comes out on top. In this case, I was that bitch. And after the Reunion Show was done, the act was over for me.